The kids joined a summer reading program and they got their first rewards today. My son received a little green frog toy and a coupon for a junior frosty at Wendy's. My daughter got a sticker and a coupon for her very own junior frosty. Our neighbor got a pencil and a coupon for a junior bacon cheeseburger. This slight difference in coupons causes the need for this rant. We got up early to get out of the house in an attempt to get to the library sometime close to its 9am opening time.

It was early, but I could hear the birds chirping happy little tunes as I drove to the library. The City has about eight or nine libraries spread out, but of course the one with the nice little children's section that we like is on the other side of town. The Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck shaped clouds followed us the whole drive. They waved gently in the early morning breeze. We arrived at the library got our booty, stopped at my Brother's house to say goodbye to my parents on their way home after a nice vacation, and then went to Wendy's for lunch.

I ordered burgers for my wife and the kids, the bacon cheeseburger for the neighbor and a spicy chicken sandwich for myself. I got two drinks and the two free frosties, figuring the neighbor can have one, my kids can share one and everyone has food and a beverage for $16. The young man who rang me up did not know how to ring up the free junior bacon cheeseburger coupon so he had to call the manager...and then call again when no one came...finally one of the people working the burger manufactoring assembly line yelled back for her.

She came to the front counter finally and said, 'Oh, we do not accept this coupon' to the man ringing me up, not to me. She then turned to me and showed me on the coupon where it says available at participating Wendy's only.

'I see, it says the same thing that it says on the free frosty coupons which you do accept.' This confused her, and caused her to reread all of the coupons involved.

'We do not honor the free cheeseburger coupon.' She says and begins to hand it back to me. I quickly think about this. I bring three children, well two children and a teenager, who were rewarded by the library, but this manager does not want to honor the reward for one of the trio. So I decide that this is unacceptable, and I can solve this the way most times I would be too timid to do. Egged on my the Mickey and Donald clouds, I reply, 'That is fine, then I want to cancel my entire order.'

The manager had the expected look on her face, however it was because she did not understand what I was saying. She thought for a second and then spouted out her unintelligent words, 'I am not saying that you can not get your food, just that we do not honor this coupon.'

I look out the window shake my head at Mickey, and use smaller words. 'I am going to take my business to a Wendy's that will honor all of my coupons.'

More discussion occurs but I am not getting through to her, so I ask, 'How much is a junior bacon cheeseburger?'

'99 cents.' She answered quickly in such a way that indicated that I was making a big deal out of a measly buck.

'I am going to cancel my $16 order if I do not get a 99 cent burger.' My words finally reached her just as my wife came to explain that the coupons all came from the library and she does not understand why they would accept some but not all of them.

'I do not understand what you are doing.' She states the obvious. 'You can change your order if you want to, but I am giving you back your coupon so that you can use it at a Wendy's that will accept it, rather than throw it away.' Ummm what? Is she saying she will give me the free burger but let me keep the coupon?

'I want a junior bacon cheeseburger, and if you will not give me one for the coupon, we will go to a Wendy's that will, now.' My wife took the liberty of stating our intentions again.

'You can get your burger but I can not do anything with the coupon so I am giving it back to you.' She replied and then answered yes when we asked her to explain that she was going to give us the burger but not take the coupon for it...what a deal a free burger and we can use the coupon over again. Based on her inability to fathom what was going on, I imagined myself eating junior bacon cheeseburgers for life with the coupon that will not be taken.

She takes the Junior bacon cheeseburger off of my bill, takes my $15, and they prepare my meal. The wife goes back to the table satisfied that we are getting all of the rewards due to the people in our care. I get the tray dole out the burgers..all five..wait four, what oh man they did not give us the junior bacon cheeseburger after all. I go back to the front to explain the situation. My wife collects all of the food in order to make it easier to return it if in fact I am not getting a free burger, after all I said I would cancel if I did not get the free reward.

In my mind I foresee the conversation the length of time it would take to drive my already hungry children not to mention cranky wife and self to the next Wendy's and try again. Making a quick decision I gave permission to eat the food, and took $1.07 out of my pocket...I explained quite loudly that I would buy the burger, get the store number and I already had the manager's name and I would take up my complaint on the internet.

They obviously relayed this information on because while we were eating our food the manager came over and struck up a polite conversation, 'You have a big family.'

'A big family of readers with coupons from the library, but unfortunately one of them does not get her reward.' My wife said smugly.

At this we explained that we had to buy that burger and she seemed surprised by this. She appologized several times and said, 'before you leave come up to the front and we will get frosties for all of the kids.'

My initial thought was ummm I already have frosties for the kids, but I guess she forgot that she accepted those coupons...

'I will also give you one of my personal management coupons.' This was said low so that no one else could hear her. I assume because Dave Thomas' Secret agents would have to wipe the minds of any who heard her.

'Thank you.' I replied happy with the new accord that has been struck...we would all get frosties now and some new coupon that probably will get a new article here on my blog written about it as well. We ate our meals with our neighbor getting her frosty and then taking the kids up one at a time to get theirs, which my wife and I confiscated and replaced with the junior versions that we already had.

I went to the front after we finished eating and told that nice young man that I needed to speak to the manager again. I called her by name to drive the point home, I do not know who I was driving it to though. She came out, a bit quicker this time and asked what I needed.

'You said something about a secret coupon...' I said after looking left then right for the agents first.

'Oh ok one second sir.' She said and then disappeared in the secret manager room. I imagine she was pressing the hidden buttons on the picture above her chair to open the coupon vailt. After scanning her left retina she returned with, get this, a hand written coupon on the back of her business card. SO you will not take a professionally made coupon from the library, but you will take a business card that says free stuff on it and her signature scribbled at the bottom. 'This is good for any two free large combo meals and 2 free kids meals.'

So three frosties, 2 large combo meals, and two kids meals were given to us as a substitute, for one junior bacon cheeseburger that I still have the coupon for. Sounds fair. My neightbor summed up all of my thoughts when she said, 'I will come back with my family and use the coupon again, this is great.'