It did not sound like that but , well let me take my time and tell the story right. I got a roast beef club sandwich on white bread with no cheese (that costs extra) with lettuce tomatoes pickles and mayonaisse for lunch...like I said in the post before. The nice man that is very hard to understand stuck a little extra beef on it with a wink and a nod. His company lost their contract so they are done in a week, I assume that he is getting rid of the inventory in his own way, and I am thankful. He carefully stacked the roast beef, roast turkey, and bacon and then asked 'Blauftome?' ( Anyone who has ever seen the movie quick change should get the humor) I asked him to repeat, which he did and I still do not speak ummm whateverian but the second time he waved his hand over the bountiful spread of toppings in front of him.

I knew what he meant now and said lettuce tomatoes and pickles please. I wondered if what I said sounded like 'blauftome por favor' to him, but he placed a pair of perfectly sliced tomatoes with precision onto the slabs of meat, and loaded so many halves of pickle chips that I was not sure how I was going to fit the mammoth sandwich into my mouth. He stuck the top on, smooshed it down, put two of those fancy little toothpick things with the colored plastic on the back in it, and cut it in half. His knife went right between the toothpicks thereby creating two identical halves of a marvelous sandwich, each held together by a wooden arrow with yellow flights...

I proudly carried my heavy little sandwich back to my walled bastion (cubicle, fine) While I loaded the image on the computer under my desk, I opened the container and basked in the glory of the mighty sandwich. A smile crept slowly across my face, and before long I could feel the muscles around my eyes tensing up, so I knew it was a big smile. I rammed a straw into the lid of my drink in such a way that would have made Bram Stoker proud. The sandwich expanded slightly as I removed the wooden stake the was holding it all down. Actually it was nailed to the bottom of the take out container, probably to keep it from shifting as I walked back to my desk.

You know how grass shows its resiliency by slowly going back in place if you step on it? That is what my sandwich was doing once I removed it from the container. I held on tight and took a bite. The bacon tasted sooooo good, that I, remember that I am a carnivore to the extreme, for one brief moment, forgot that I had beef on my sandwich. Then I tasted the beef, and the turkey, oh man this was a great sandwich. I took a second, even more scrumptious bite. The tomatoes slid slightly under the weight of all of the meat stacked on top of them. I had to shift the angle that I held the half of sandwich in my hand to keep the tomatoes from slipping completely out, perhaps I should have allowed this to happen, for what happened next may have been avoided if I did.

I picked up the sandwich, raising it back toward my mouth for another delicious taste. The tomato in the back near my pinkies, gave way, causing a chain reaction that started with the meat shifting quickly down and ended with the mayonnaise soaked bread tearing in half, spilling the contents of one half on my lunch into the styrofoam container below. I was left holding the other tomato and a fistful of pickles and lettuce, staring down at a pile of meat in disbelief. I licked the pickle juice and mayonnaise from my fingers and thought to myself, 'My sandwich just exploded, wtf?' I began looking for a fork to finish my lunch, but alas I still had another half to enjoy. It would appear that while I was eating the first half, the second half was succumbing to the same soggy bread syndrome, because I only got one bite of this half before Boom!, it exploded like the first half. I resorted to stabbing the remnants of the inards of my sandwich with the little wooden arrows to finish my lunch. It was still rather tasty...