Went to a Hamburger joint to get Hamburgers as a treat for the kids - and myself. First of all, why is it so hard to get my order right. I even went inside this time. I want one Cheeseburger just pickles. They have to say ok that is one cheeseburger with no ketchup, no mustard, no onions. How do I know what the thing comes with, all I know is that my 2 year old little princess wants beef, cheese and pickles only. Give me that so I can be a hero in her eyes please.

Next comes my son, he is easy. Cheeseburger, that is all I need to say. Whatever it comes with he will eat. I used to get the Thickburger but you are paying extra for better onions, mayo(which is not healthy for him), lettuce and tomato, which he takes off the tomato and the lettuce becomes slippery once the ketchup and mustard gets on it. Rather than have his burger sliding off the bun I prefer no lettuce. The lady still has to repeat back to me 1/3 pound cheeseburger with everything on it. This makes me wonder, why she just says everything on this one but can not just say pickles only on the other one.

Then the wife, she wants bacon and cheese only. So I say I need another 1/3 pound cheeseburger, plain. Add bacon. This threw the cashier off course. She actually asks, 'just plain with bacon? Do you want cheese?' I said cheeseburger, thus implying the request for the fake processed yellow stuff that you call cheese in this establishment. I refrain from using big words like fake or cheese and just answer, 'Cheese and bacon.' Her response astounds me. 'No meat?' Since I am inside, I can not see the Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck shaped clouds in the sky of my previously joyful day, but I know they are LOL or ROFL or whatever you want to say.

I answer directly this time, 'It wouldn't be a burger without the meat. CHEESEBURGER (said slow and well enunciated) with just bacon.' She still seemed confused so I noted that I was not paying until she repeated this, what I thought to be simple, order back to me. She started to tell how how much I owed her, but I interupted, 'now for me I am easy to get along with, I just want a six dollar burger.' Then I think, why not take advantage of the situation and confuse this girl a bit more, so i ask. 'Oh wait Six bucks for a burger, hmmmm maybe I don't have enough.' This brought out exactly the response that I wanted from her as she replied, 'Oh the six dollar burger only costs $3.85'

'Wow that is like a one-third off sale on a one-half pound burger. I bet the name six dollar burger scares off a few customers though as they may think that it realy costs six dollars.' She is confused even more, but I do not stop there. 'Why not call the thickburgers the four and a half dollar burger, then I feel like I am getting a good deal when I find out they are less than $3' She ignored this and read back the order, correctly, and the price. I also got 2 large curly fries.

Twenty bucks once I added that cookies -n-cream milkshake because I am not just trying to be a great father, but a great husband as well. Twnety bucks, now those are some good burgers and all but twenty bucks buy a lot of ramen noodles, peanut butter and bread. Imagine if I had gotten the combo meals for the sugary drinks to make my kids, and myself, hyper. I don't want kid's meals or toys that are only 99 cents with any purchase. I don't want to add the local college team's basketball hat for only $4.99. I certainly do not want an apple turnover with its molten contents sure to do permanent damage to my tastebuds for 89 cents. All I want is maybe to be able to get a nice meal for my family once in a while without having to say goodbye to Andrew Jackson in the process.