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Home > Bottles vs. Breast milk...no contest.

Bottles vs. Breast milk...no contest.

March 16th, 2006 at 03:22 pm

*disclaimer* As man I am not equipped with milk makers. This rant only poses my opinion, purely from a cost perspective.

I am not going to look up the actual costs because I have no idea how much a container of formula powder lasts!

Let us analyze the costs of nursing vs. bottles. My Brother's wife bottle fed, My wife nurses. My wife's breasts are not only visually appealing, but God gave them to her for free! The bottles, while you may get a bunch of them as shower gifts, you will undoubtedly not like them and have to buy a different more expensive brand and more nipples. The SIL had to have the bottles that are angled and with a grippy surface so the infant can hold the bottle by itself. My wife's nipples wipe clean in the shower, the bottle nipples must be boiled. Boiling my wife's *censored* is not a good idea.

While boiling those bottles and nipples, there will come a time when you step away, probably to tend to the baby, and when you return you will smell burning rubber and notice that the water is all gone. This scientific experiment in evaporation, will cost you the price of a few nipples, a bottle or two, and maybe a new pot. My brother had to get the new pot. My wife has yet to have to replace either of her *censored*. Minor cost added to the brother's total for electricity for his stove and very little cost for the water. My wife was going to take that shower anyway, so no cost for me.

Then they have to buy the formula, my wife makes hers all day long (comment from wife: All night long too!) They have to add water, ok my wife drinks water too so we will not count this against them. I will however note that drinking this water keeps my wife healthy, and putting the water in the bottle does nothing for my SIL. This formula is expensive and they always seemed to run out meaning my brother had to spend gas money in the middle of the night to get more. If I wake up in the middle of the night I get my baby, hand him or her to the wife and hold the flashlight while she attaches our baby to her *censored*, then I go back to sleep.

Go out to the mall, my wife will never forget her breasts, nor will they ever need to be thrown out because the milk was left in them too long and you are afraid that even boiling them (again the bottles not the breasts) will not make them reusable. Her *censored* may leak, and her shirt will get cleaned when she washes it anyway, if the bottle leaks, it may ruin everything else in the pack, like my peanut butter sandwich, or worse the older kid's snacks.

Once the infant is older they will, and I guarantee this, use the bottle as a means of distributing the formula to the floor. This will inspire them to make a Picasso-like image on the carpet that will need to be deep cleaned if it is not noticed right away and blotted up. The odds of my wife painting like Picasso with her *censored*- not likely at best.

I will never find one of my wife's *censored* with old milk in it lying under the bed or behind the bookcase, ever. The child will never have to be scolded for throwing one of her *censored* and knocking something valuable over.

My wife feels a special bond with the child while she is the sole source of life. My SIL puts the baby down with a pillow on its belly to help prop up the bottle and reads a magazine on the couch next to the cute little guy or girl. Not much bonding there.

And last but not least, once the child is off the bottle, which may take a while as they are used to carrying it around with them, the bottles go back to taking up space until they are needed again. My wife's *censored*, well I get them back!


The post has been censored at the wife's request - twice. How do I feel about this? I am *censored* and *censored, censored* that the *censored* word *censored* can not be used in this *censored* blog!! Oh yeah *censored*

76 Responses to “Bottles vs. Breast milk...no contest.”

  1. Patricia Says:
    1142548230

    Wow, your pretty passionate about breastfeeding. I think some of your views are over the top. It does save money but it's definitely not for everyone. And your sure do paint bottle feeding out to be horrible and that's just not the case.

  2. jodi_m Says:
    1142561052

    Maybe I took this a little more lightly, being a nurser myself. So I can't comment on how the bottle-feeders will react, but I do like the way you point out the cost benefits of nursing with a bit of humor thrown in. Thanks for bringing a smile to my face. I found myself laughing and nodding in agreement Smile

  3. Money Talk$ Says:
    1142564733

    No offense was meant in this purely humorous and anecdotal commentary. The only person meant to be painted at all was my SIL. Wink But most people can say yep, that happens about the bottle feeding statements.

  4. Anon Says:
    1142691843

    It could use a bit more censoring IMO, but I like the humourous look at breast vs bottle

  5. Sarah M. Says:
    1142699504

    ROFLOL!! I thoroughly enjoyed this. Smile

  6. Jill Says:
    1142715779

    Very funny! As a nursing mom I understand where you're coming from. I do believe that babies who are bottlefed can bond with their mothers just as well as nursing moms, though. This would actually require holding the baby and cuddling with it while you feed it, of course. It makes me sad to see babies with propped bottles.

  7. stacy Says:
    1142726820

    I did not like the article.... didnt find it funny at all. Sure you were talking about your SIL but it seems to imply that for all bottle feeders and some of that is simply not true...

  8. Tracy Says:
    1142736752

    As someone who bottlefed, do to lack of support the first two times then breastfed and bottlefed the third time, I loved this! It is VERY accurate!

  9. KristieL Says:
    1142741437

    I LOVE IT!!! This blog was forwarded to me by my friend ( the previous poster ) as she knew I would get a kick out of it. I love the fact that you're a dad and have such a heart for breastfeeding. I totally see where you are coming from and wish that more men were so open minded about the issues surrounding breastfeeding. Kudos Papa!

  10. contrary1 Says:
    1142780710

    love your writing style. loved the topic. I nursed my son, made all our own baby food, didn't buy a thing that I can remember. Babies don't require all the things marketing companies say they do!
    Keep mixing the humor with money...........can't have too much of that!

  11. Nina's Mom Says:
    1142801129

    You forgot the best part of breastfeeding for a man.....
    You get out of more baby work! Ha Ha!

    Nina's mom
    (who breastfed all three daughters, ages 26, 25 and 18)

  12. cercis Says:
    1142914700

    I'll admit it. I breastfed because I was lazy. The baby is fussy, oh stick him on the breast. He needs to be fed and we're out and about, no need to look for someplace to heat the bottle, etc, it's ready to go. He wasn't really hungry, no biggie, the milk will keep with no worries about storage and possible contamination.

    I honestly am not sure what kind of baby-mom I would be if I couldn't breastfeed. I really don't think I'd be as good of a mom. The feel good hormones coupled with the ease of comforting baby and not having to mess with measuring, mixing, heating, sterilyzing, etc - priceless.

  13. Money Talk$ Says:
    1142915735

    I did not even get into the health benefits, or the actual cost of the formula. The purpose of this entry was actually to thank my wife for all of the money she saved us by breast feeding.

  14. Betina Says:
    1142996022

    Beautiful!

  15. Grandma Says:
    1143038559

    An entertaining piece.

    Based on my experience as a breast feeding mother and as a grandma ( bottle feedeing using the mother's expressed milk), I have a couple of observations: First, there is absolutely no need to sterilize either bottles or nipples, and no one I know does it. Second, formula now comes thorough pre-mixed- just pour it out of the can. It's a bit more exensive, but life is too short to try to measure out formula while holding a screaming infant.

    That having been said, I think breast feeding was and is great - which is not to say that there weren't times when it was painful or frustrating. One of the problems is that only Mom knows how much the child is getting, and everyone else is eager to toss in their observations based on no knowledge whatsoever.

    No need to go over all of the desirable aspects of breastfeeding like immunities and bonding. The bonding issue is a two-way street. Many mothers find that breast feeding helps them to bond with their child, especially after a difficult birth.

    From a father's perspective: If Mom breastfeeds, then Dad doesn't have to get up in the middle of the night to feed the kid.

    Lastly, a little perspective. When my kids were born, it was SERIOUSLY contended that the reason people took up and stuck with smoking was that they had been bottle fed instead of breast fed. The theory was that the bottle flowed so easily that the c hild did not have to suck strongly enough to satisfy its sucking instinct. Cigarettes, therefore, were thought to be a substitute for breast feeding. HONEST! And people believed it.

  16. Jennythehutt Says:
    1143120430

    As a first time mom with a husband in law school...I can definately say that breastfeeding saves tons of $$. Also, I don't think many people understand the true benefits of breastmilk...formula is not even close for young babies. There is absolutely no substitute for mamas milk...Breast is Best!!!

    ps: as an added benefit dirty diapers of breastfed babies have an almost pleasant smell...you definately need to take the trash out a lot more with a formula fed little one!!

  17. kelly Says:
    1143131861

    i think this is dead on, and very funny to boot!!
    lets just face the facts. breastfeeding is better. everyone knows it. formula feeding is the 4th best choice for feeding a baby according to the world health organization.
    you offer truth, insight and a lot of humor!

  18. pickleboot Says:
    1143133256

    lol.

    this would be exactly what my husband wrote- but add in there- breastmilk puke comes out easily with a shout wipe or other laundry pen, but the formula puke i have seen, well- i threw the shirt away.

    i breastfed my two kids because i like sleep. and what is easier than rolling over and feeding your kid, while all parties drift off to sleep? it's a wonderful thing.

  19. Noel Says:
    1143134289

    Prepare for a boat load of comments my friend. This blog has been forwarded to a couple breastfeeding communities and I think the ladies will come over here and say thanks for putting a funny spin on this topic.

    As for the bottlefeeders that will come and tell you that you're making them feel guilty waaaaaa, and that you paint a bad picture of bottlefeeding are just feeling guilty for making the wrong 'choice' about using formula. And then the will go on to say that they had a *cough* medical *cough* issue that stopped them from breastfeeding. blah blah blah, excuses excuses.

    Breastfeeding is not a choice, it's a birthright.

  20. Morgan Says:
    1143135326

    I am from the aforementioned breastfeeding communities, and I just wanted to take a moment to thank you for this article. Not only was it entertaining, it was informative. Who cares if you offend some formula feeders? Formula feeders offend me all the time!

  21. AnonnyMouse Says:
    1143135883

    Wow, I wonder why the bottle feeders responding to this post are so defensive? Is it perhaps because they see a certain amount of truth in your portrayal of bottle feeding SIL?

  22. Nived Says:
    1143136906

    Ha! I'm also from an aforementioned breastfeeding community. This was great! I think your portrayal was dead on. I personally know many bottle feeders, and once that child can hold a bottle itself there is no more cuddling while feeding. That makes me sad! Thanks for a great article!

  23. Chritsine Says:
    1143138103

    Funny and Accurate! Thanks!

  24. miclason Says:
    1143138281

    hmmm...I found it hillarious...I did both (breast and bottle feed) and, believe me, there was plenty of cuddling even with bottles...except with bottles other family members could cuddle as well!
    Another plus for breasfeeding is that the antibodies are transferred from mom to the baby, so they are less sensitive to infectious diseases...

  25. Robin Frolic Says:
    1143138306

    Another breastfeeder here! Amen to all that you've said - I never understand why women choose to make more work for themselves by bottlefeeding. (And yes, I had difficulty - a LOT of difficulty - nursing in the beginning. But I sought out help and made it through the first six weeks, and now my son is a nursing toddler, those difficult first six weeks are just a tiny part of what has been an incredible and wonderful nursing relationship. If we'd switched to formula, it would NEVER have been anything less than a huge hassle all the way through.)

    I just want to say in response to some of the comments that "breast is best". I know it's a popular phrase, but saying that "breast is best" implies that formula-feeding is totally sufficient but if you want to do something even better, you can breastfeed! The truth is that breastfeeding is the baseline, it's what babies are designed to eat. If you choose to formula-feed, you are giving your baby something inferior. It isn't a matter of "formula is okay but breast is best" - it's a matter of "breastmilk is the default and formula is inferior and barely adequate". Yes, babies can thrive on formula, but they are doing so *in spite* of the formula, not because of it.

    My heart goes out to women who legitimately can't breastfeed; even in very pro-breastfeeding societies like Sweden we see a 97% breastfeeding rate, so there are a few percent of women who are unable to breastfeed. I feel truly sad about that and I wish there were more milk banks so that everyone could give their baby breastmilk, even if it wasn't their own. (And yes, I donated my breastmilk to two babies who needed it, so I walked the walk as well as talking the talk.) I also feel sad for all the women who could breastfeed and who tried their best, but they weren't given sufficient information and/or support to make the breastfeeding relationship work. They didn't fail - we as a society failed *them* by not providing the support they needed. Sometimes formula is necessary, and I hope those women don't feel guilty if they are forced to formula-feed.

    But women who are perfectly capable of breastfeeding, who make a conscious choice not to - I have no respect for that, and I hope every time they look at their baby they are aware that they have *chosen* to give their child something inferior, something that raises their child's risk of death and/or illness and something that doesn't develop their child's brain to the extent that breastmilk does. I hope they do feel guilt about making a conscious choice to feed their child formula, because maybe then they won't make that same choice with future children.

  26. ME Says:
    1143140360

    LOL!!! Thanks for the laugh!

  27. Erin Says:
    1143142776

    I am also from one of the breastfeeding communities. I absolutly LOVE this piece.

    And, those formula feeders that are so offended should STFU already. They're just upset because everything you say is true. Even my mom who couldn't breastfeed agrees. Smile
    -Erin

  28. Caitlin Says:
    1143143218

    I couldn't agree more with you! This is hilarious and spot-on. As a breastfeeding mom, I am constantly reminded of the wonderful thing I am doing for my children by simply giving them their birth-right, my milk. I think you could also mention, as I think some others have as well, that you are being saved a TON of money on future health care by giving them the right food to help them grow healthy and strong. Also, your wife is less likely to develope the cancers that bottle-feeders are more at risk for. And finally, our enviroment is less taxed by the utter waste of formula creation, which saves everyone $$ and resources.
    Brestfeeding is NORMAL!

  29. S. Says:
    1143148851

    Proud breastfeeder here!

    Don't forget to factor in the costs of future medical care for mom and babies as well. Women who breastfeed greatly reduce their chances of developing many types of cancer, and the children will be much healthier. Less diabetes, obesity, ear infections, asthmas, allergies, etc. Breastmilk isn't quite a panacea, but it's pretty damn close.

  30. kazmir Says:
    1143154019

    Great piece!

    I am breastfeeding my second child who is now a toddler and only hope he will breastfeed as long as my daughter did. Its their birthright!

  31. Lisa Says:
    1143160256

    So the first persone to respond was an angry formula-feeder who doesn't feel this entry showed bottle-feeders in a positive light, huh? Well too bad....get over it...you're defensive because deep in your heart, you know that breastfeeding id THE BEST way to feed a baby. His views are NOT over the top, and if babies could talk, do you think they'd prefer their momma's breastmilk, which has the capability to prevent hundreds of diseases, or some chemically-enhanced synthetic crap made from cow's milk that studies have shown actually causes some illnesses? I think we all know the answer.

  32. Julee Says:
    1143162388

    Awesome!

  33. Money Talk$ Says:
    1143165943

    I did *gasp* feed my eldest 2 from a bottle.
    A bottle of expressed breast milk, so Mommy could get some away time, and because I wanted some one on one bonding time.

    I really liked the comment about the child thriving *in spite* not because of the choice. I feel that way about a lot of the things some parents do. They can show you how a good portion of children in a given situation end up normal or above average, and I always wonder how much more above average that child could have been in a different situation.

  34. DivaJen Says:
    1143167287

    I totally agree *AND* I am one who had medical problems and couldn't breastfeed. Pumped for 6 weeks and went to formula after that.

    To the woman who seems to think that there are no medical reasons why anyone would ever not be able to breastfeed (two month's prematurity and my own health in my case)...wouldn't it be karmatic if it were to happen to you and you could eat your words. Smile Hopefully you'll never know what it's like to desperately want to breastfeed your baby and not be able to. Or maybe you will and learn a modicum of tolerance.

  35. Suzanne Says:
    1143169319

    Bravo! Well written, funny, and so TRUE. Bottlefeeders get all upset because they realize that what they do IS NOT THE BEST FOR THEIR BABIES! And their wasting their money too!

  36. kym Says:
    1143169734

    Sounds like the bottle feeders are a tad bit defensive. I wonder why. Smile
    Good article!

  37. JamesMama Says:
    1143174756

    Wonderful piece!!

    I'm a proud breastfeeding mother! Good for you for being so supportive of your wife doing the VERY BEST for your baby!

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