You are hungry, in a hurry, and for the sake of this story you have a mail-in rebate that will pay you back every penny that you spend at Burgers-backwards R-Us.

You pull up in the drive through, the window is already open because the weather is beautiful. It takes you a second or two but you can find those Mickey and Donald shaped clouds up there in the blue sky. The cars in front of you pull in, talk to the big burger, and drive on. The line is moving so fast that you had not noticed the chorus line of robins that are once again whistling that happy tune. You get to the big burger and...

'wbelejdcome dotro toto fcof tjgf j order?'

'Excuse me?' You politely ask for a repeat even though you know what they said, because you want them to know that you can not hear them to alleviate future discrepencies, just in case.

'WELCOME TO BURGERS ARE US MAY I TAKE YOU ORDER!!' This is so loud that the robins fly away and land on the roof all the way on the other side of the drive through line. There is now a ringing in your ears that may never go away. You shake off the stunning affects of the sonic waves and proceed to place your order.

'I would like a number two combo please.' The sun shines on and aside from missing the birds chirping you can almost taste that double bacon cheeseburger with extra everything and life of course is good.

'YOU WANT THAT BIG ASS SIZED???' He called out in a deep voice that echoes throughout the passenger compartment of your vehicle.

'Sure thing and thank you for asking.' You reply nicely to get him to stop thinking that you are annoying him.

'ANYTHING ELSE!' the attendant obviously thinks you are deaf since you could not hear him at first and will most likely continue to scream as long as he talks to you. YOu have no problem hearing him now, nor is there any issues in hearing him chewing his gum, open-mouthed.

'No that will-' You notice on the convenient display that the price for your combo which should be $4.98 shows as $5.59. Then you trace its origin to the fact that it says number 1 combo instead of number 2. 'Umm I wanted a number 2 combo please.'

'SO YOU SAY NO THAT IS ALL, BUT THEN YOU WANT TO ADD A NUMBER 2?!?' He is obviously being overworked and underpaid and taking it out on you. The sun slowly fades behind that fanged Mickey cloud. Donald is gone, probably chased from the sky by the ominous storm clouds shaped like the Beagle Boys.

'I do not wish to add a number 2, I wanted to point out that I ordered a number 2 combo and not a number 1...please...if it is not too much trouble.' That last comment was to put a spit shield over your burger and Whirly- curly fries.

*SIGH* That sigh nearly pops the speaker but it does not end there. 'SO YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOU ORDER TO A NUMBER 2?'

You do not get into an arguement and agree. This should make things better, right?

'WHAT KIND OF DRESSING ON YOUR SALAD?'

'Ummm salad, a number 2 is the double bacon cheeseburger.' You hope you are correct and confirm this on the handy oversized menu that hangs next to the giant screaming burger of doom.

'SORRY ABOUT THAT I THOUGHT YOU SAID NUMBER 4.' A quick scan of the sign shows a 4 to be chicken shaped nuggets of mystery meat and still no salad but you do not want to digress, so you remain quiet. 'YOU WANT EVERYTHING ON THAT?'

'Yes please.' rain drops begin falling on the hood and windshield of your car.

'SEVENTEEN EIGHTY-FOUR PLEASE PULL AROUND TO THE FIRST WINDOW!!' This is not right obviously you you interupt.

'I thought a number 2 was Four Ninety-eight, unless they increased the tax rate that much.' Your humor and quick wit are wasted, probably because he doesn't get the joke. He has charged you for The number 1 2 and 4 meals. The 1 and 2 disappear leaving only the chicken nuggets, which somehow are one of the few things on Earth which do not taste like chicken.

'SORRY ABOUT THAT, SIX BUCKS EVEN PLEASE PULL AROUND!!'

'The screen still shows number 4?' You inquire knowing that they are looking for the grease-soaked fries left over from this morning to put in your bag.

'YEAH I WOULD NEED A MANAGER TO OVERRIDE THE DISPLAY BUT I GOT YOUR ORDER AS A NUMBER 2 WITH EVERYTHING ON IT. WOULD YOU LIKE KETCHUP WITH THAT?'

'yes please.' You say just knowing that you are going to have to go inside and talk to the manager. You drive around the side of the building hand the smiling man the $6 and pull up to the second window. The birds do their business on your roof while squawking that annoying song by the wiggles, and the man slams a beat up bag of squashed fries and a mystery product that is not wrapped in the double bacon cheeseburger paper. Then a loud crack of thunder booms and a monsoon-like rain starts. It is blowing sideways and if you get out of your car to go inside to speak to the manager you will be soaked from head to toe.

'Have a nice day.' Mr. Smiley says softly.