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Patent abuse

March 10th, 2006 at 02:07 pm

I read an article where a boy had patented a

Text is certain way to swing on a playground swing. and Link is http://www.newscientist.com/article.ns?id=dn2178
certain way to swing on a playground swing. and I got thinking. If I patent something rather mundane I could get rich suing everyone for infringing on my patent. For instance, I want to get a patent on a certain way to knock on a door. Like this 'Knock Knock Knock' Now anytime I see a movie where they knock like that I will sue the director, the editor, the actor/actress knocking in my patented way, the actor/actress opening the door for not seeing the infringement and warning the knocker, and the film companies responsible for producing and distributing the film.

Then there is the greeting on the teelphone, not everyone greets the caller the same way and I think I have a right to get a patent on the simple yet heartfelt greeting 'hello' when answering my phone. Then, not only can I watch for my patented greeting in movies, but I can make hundreds of calls each day from my lawyers office to celebrities and other wealthy people, filing a grevience on any and all who answer with my special welcoming hello.

Then I can patent a way of walking with my feet shoulder width apart, and a pattern of breathing where I go in then out.

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